As a normal human being, for the past week, I was full of misery and mistakes. For example I lost patience, I let my blood pressure rise due to my uncontrolled self and many others. I felt so guilty and said to myself, "Lord, I will make improvement, just please give me your mercy and let me feel your love." God's love and mercy was the only comfort I  needed to get through the rough past weeks. For weeks, this impatience and vices has been driving me away from the Lord and I finally realized, I need to change that, and before Lent. So I decided on Sunday, I need to confess, and I will do so in my favorite shrine, The National Shrine of Mother Perpetual Help, Baclaran (Baclaran Shrine). What I excepted was going to be simple and normal, turned extraordinary. 

    We arrived at the  Baclaran Shrine early this morning, it was a normal bright shinning day. We walked right in at the beginning of Mass and I stood to the side (take note, it was Wednesday, and it is Mother Perpetual Help day and the devotees are always filling in the whole church). I looked around and I saw the confessionals open and the priest I usually confess (Fr.Vincent) to was there, so I went over and fell in line. The heavy feeling and guilt of the mistakes over filled me and I, feeling so remorse wanted to leave ashamed, but I prayed to St.Michael that the evil would not invade me and help me to get the courage to go inside.

  Quickly, the line faded and I entered the air conditioned confessional. As I knelt,Fr. Vincent was listening to other side and I had sometime to breathe and relax. Then the  screen went open and it was my turn...(sure,like I'll say what I said haha). When the absolution came in, the feeling of guilt and anxiety, left and I recieved this pain on my right side on the ribs. I didn't mind the pain, however it was quite bothersome, but I felt so clean and pure once more. As I did my penance, I looked up and it was already time for consecration. The joy, filled me again, when I knew He was comming. I knelt down and as the priest lifted the consecrated host, the pain in my right side came again and I realized fully what it meant.

  What did that pain in my right side mean? It had one meaning, it means when Jesus died for us, that blood and water which poured fourth came from his right side, as a sign that He gave us all and with that blood and water, we are cleansed from sin and the most important, it because of this pain that Christ experienced, that I became closer to Him, because I felt His pain and I know His pain. With the absoultion which cleaned me, it was the blood and water which poured fourth from the heart of Jesus and cleansed me. I was closer to Him, now that admitted my mistakes and now that we are "reconciled". The joy of realizing this, showed me and made me prepare for a joyful Lent.

     I'm not finished. Communion came, and I recieved Him into my heart now, and made us into one again. I was overfilled with so much joy, I was so amazed at this joy now knowing God loves me and all He wants is to be with me until we are fully after this life. I was literally overfilling with so much joy and all the sorrow I had and the tears for them were wiped away and I felt that Jesus was embracing me fully now. What simple petiton I asked to the Lord, He made an abundance of joy.

  To make my morning even better, as I stood in prayer, my favorite hymn was being played (Awit ng Paghahangad) and this made me not the happiest, but the most joyful. The graces I finally see and the love, that I was thirsting for, came and I was finally content and I could finally move on. As I left, I knew I was entering the world of sin again, but I said to Lord," there's not a moment where you and I could overpass." My heart was finally a haven of peace. 

  Why does Mother Mary of Perpetual Help play an important role? It was because of Her shirne, that it lead me back to Christ, and of her extending arm, give me again the full joy and love of Christ, this Mary's role. What many Evangelicals call worship, what I and many call, a guide. It this through this guide, we are lead to Her glorious Son, Jesus.  It was Her shrine that made me go back fully to God, it was Her priest, that cleansed from from all my sins and it was Her Son and His Father, that gave me again the joy and help. I may not be perfect, but I know, in God whose eyes, I am just right.I am telling you my experience, not to merely show off, but rather to encourage you to open yourself back to God and to experience what I experienced. Use the Blessed Mary ever Virgin, as your instrument to Him.     

I came in broken, I came out clean as a whsitle. What many people would call crazy, I would call divine.

As I read Divine Mercy, fee weeks ago, the message came back to me....Bring fourth the message of Mercy to all. 

God is waiting for you. Never fear, for God still does love you.