Well, to begin things, When I arrived in Manila, I had two choices, Guadalupe Seminary High School or Aquinas School. I thought it was a bit early and it could wait, so I went ahead with Aquinas. Not realizing, what I was going to place myself into. I went ahead and became an Aquinan. Well, it was a rough couple months, thinking, what did I get myself into. Yes, God had put me under the test and it was a cross that was literally crushing me to the ground. I sought no refuge but myself. One thing I had already forgotten, to ask God for help. The funny thing and the actual truth is, when I approached God, in the sacrament of reconciliation and the Eucharist, I felt more at ease, even though things were already getting rougher and harder. I only felt peace from God, and God gave the teachers the same grace, so that I may continue to work peacefully and quietly. During these couple weeks, I was given time, not only to adjust, but to find myself. Several things I found out,
1)Everyone is meant to love, but for some, not meant to be loved.
meaning, no matter how much you fall in love with a person, if you're not destined to marry or be in a relationship, the only thing holding you back is, you'll never be loved back by the person who loves you. The only way of finding this out....it's going to be hard and it's going to hurt.Just as it hurt me....
2)The more we intimidate Jesus, the more simple souled we become.
meaning, if we LET Jesus into our lives, and become like him, little by little, our heart and importantly our soul, is finally becoming simple, just as Jesus was.
3)The only way we can achieve peace, is by achieving reconciliation with God.
Every time, I look back, I see a boy, whose lost and lonely. Doesn't know where to go, who he is, or what he is. I saw me. My heart was broken, I see in my future, nothing, and the only thing I can see, myself and nobody else. UNTIL, the very day I went to confession, and begged for God's mercy and forgiveness and received Him fully into the Eucharist, is when I finally established peace, not only in myself, but with everyone else. Jesus is love and peace! Without Him, we can only see hate and pure evil.
4) Still, that very voice said, "I want you to be mine, not just for a short time, but forever. I want you, to represent me, I want you to be a role model, and importantly I want you to bring my people back into the faith."
I hear those words not in a vision, but in my heart. A voice, very powerful, yet so clear and gentle. Telling me go ahead and become a priest. I choose not to marry, because, all my life, God has kept me in arms, and protected me. Least I can do for Him, is to say yes and dedicate my whole life to Him! Some say, you can be married and devoted to God, but who are they to tell me I can or cannot? Single doesn't meaning being miserable. It just means, God wants you to himself, whether religious or lay.
5)When we suffer, we are only being purified.
When we suffer for our sins, or for the sins of other, we purify.God wants us, to be holy and clean. However, we must endure the wounds of Christ, which purified and saved us all. Whether by carrying our cross, or by enduring pain and agony. If this happens, let it be and say to God, "I accept this, please make me pure and holy." Our modern society is facing much evil, us religious, we must offer ourselves, the pain and suffering for the salvation of souls. Up to death.
Today, I went to confession, to make amends and start again. Tomorrow, I wear my crucifix around my neck, saying, I'm dedicated to God. Today, I felt at peace. Tomorrow, I'm going to accept my cross, but with joy.
